Every so often, my mom leaves a note for my dad overnight saying “Sandwich in frig.” Her shameful disrespect for the English language always leads me to correct these notes in my own creative ways…
Recently, I changed it to read, “Sandwich in frigate. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to board the frigate, hijack it, redirect it to the secret base, and reclaim your lunch. Good luck.”
Tonight, I changed it to read, “Sandwich in the frigid peaks of Nepal. Seek the mountain elder so that he may lead you to the sandwich you so desire.”
I’m trying to think of things I could write in the future, such as, “Sandwich in fright. Sandwich has recognized many revenants roaming the rooms of our ranch residence. Many benevolent, some malevolent. Sometimes magical, but of no kinds natural. They who haunt this house are hungry. They don’t desire to eat you, but they do desire Sandwich. Sandwich in fright.”
Another possibility would be, “Sandwich in friggin’ hole in backyard. I buried it ’cause you’re a jerk. Go dig up your stinkin’ sandwich, you fat, stupid jerk!”
If you have any other suggestions, please leave me a comment below. Rock out!
