{Scene: A man in a suit representing a major Hollywood film company sits in front of a table in a park. On the table sits hundreds of movies in DVD and Blu-Ray format. A man jogs by.}
Hollywood: Excuse me, sir? Would you like some free movies? You can take as many as you like.
Jogger: Really? I guess I’ll take– Wait a minute… What’s the catch?
Hollywood: The catch is, if you take any movies, this hard-working lady here loses her job.
{The camera pans right to reveal a boom operator standing next to him.}
Jogger: Ah, I see. Well, I wasn’t planning on watching the movies I was going to take; I was just going to sell them on the street. But, if it costs this woman her job…
Hollywood: You’ve made the right decision, sir.
(Hit the jump to see the rest of the advertisement.)
Jogger: Yeah, you’re absolutely right. This garbage you put out isn’t worth even remotely as much as this woman here.
Hollywood: …Wait, what?
Boom Operator: Hah! You just got told!
Jogger: Although, come to think of it… if you continue to make garbage like this, and you continue to annoy people about how much of your huge fortunes you lose on piracy, she’ll be out of her job by the end of the year.
Boom Operator: Ouch. He has a point.
Jogger: So, I think I’ll take everything you have and sell it after all. Have fun with your inevitable bankruptcy.
Hollywood: But… who would make movies without us?
Jogger: With the money I make from selling this crap, I could buy a new microphone for my own studio.
Hollywood: Oh no. You have your own studio? But… what will happen to this woman here?
Jogger: Someone needs to operate the new microphone, right?
{The jogger turns toward the boom operator.}
Jogger: What do you say? Would you like to come work on a lower-budget movie instead? I mean, we can’t pay you as much as these guys can, but–
Boom Operator: Oh, don’t worry. These guys are barely paying me at all. The union’s about to go on strike.
Jogger: Excellent. Let’s go. By the way, what’s your name?
Boom Operator: Why don’t we ask Mr. Executive here? I mean, I’m on his payroll, right? What’s my name?
Hollywood: Uhhhh… it’s, um… Isabella?
Boom Operator: Nancy.
{Nancy and the jogger carry off all the DVDs.}
Hollywood: But… but… what you’re doing is stealing!
Jogger: From whom? Why can’t you just be honest? Am I stealing from people like Nancy, or stealing from people like you?
Hollywood: It doesn’t matter! You’re stealing! You’re making money by taking what doesn’t belong to you!
Jogger: Remember that the next time you take down someone’s website, or sue somebody for more than the damages they caused…
{Nancy turns toward the camera.}
Boom Operator: …or make an advertisement using our tax money.
{Nancy and the jogger walk off.}
